


the best and worst fanfic you'll probably ever read

by squiishyoongi



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: < in pjo terms, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Canon-Compliant, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Heterosexuality, Science Fiction, Summer, a fucking mess, chiron has a gun, i think that all of percy jackson actually would've been a lot shorter if chiron had a gun, just an absolute fucking mess, okay back to normal tags:, percabeth, self-insert original character alert!!, wrote this in sixth grade (in 2014) and i will not be finishing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squiishyoongi/pseuds/squiishyoongi
Summary: hi I wrote this in 2014 when I was in sixth grade and wanted to escape my boring middle school life by writing a fanfic about the doctor's daughter where she crash-lands in camp half blood after regenerating. somehow she knows chiron and somehow rachel dare is having homoerotic dreams about her. also her name is now also rachel and her companion's name is rory, but its not rory from doctor who its just another guy named rory. i think, as a writer, this may just be my finest work. enjoy this shitshow.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Original Character/Original Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	the best and worst fanfic you'll probably ever read

PROLOGUE  
BOOM! POW! CREEAAAACK! The TARDIS shook and rolled. I was recovering from a new regeneration, and I barely had time to check what I looked like. Do I even have toes? What does my face look like? Am I ginger? I focused on trying to be ginger when I was regenerating, but I don't think that works. “Rachel! What are we going to do? Are they chasing us through the time vortex?” Rory shouted.  
“I’m afraid so! But its okay! I'm going into stealth mode-” BOOM! The tardis shook once more and something fell from the ceiling. “Rory I need you to- RORY!” He was passed out on the floor. He seemed okay, but he had a big welt on his forehead. “Oh Rory….” I muttered. The thing from the ceiling must have hit him on the head. He was passed out cold, and I was starting to feel dizzy. I quickly got moving and put the tardis into ‘stealth mode.’ We were now safe, and we were cruising. I had time to check out my newly regenerated body. “Fingers, good good, I’ve got five, and two of them are thumbs! Yes, thumbs are good. Um...” My hands reached up to my head and felt my hair. “No more short hair… and still not ginger!” Wow. Long haired and not ginger. Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse! Come on, I thought. You have more important things to worry about than your hair.”I need a place to hide!” I said to myself. Using the TARDIS scanners, I looked for a time rift somewhere, where they won’t be able to find me. Aha! The TARDIS locked onto a set of coordinates and it started to rumble. “Okay…. where am I going?” Camp half blood, Long Island, New York. Friday, 10:00 p.m. Interesting name, I thought.

Friday, 10:00 pm, Percy.  
We get a visit from an impossible thing

“RUN! EVERYONE RUN! NO, NOT TO THE CABINS! TO POSITIONS! GO! GO! GO!”  
I yelled. A monster had somehow infiltrated our magical border.  
That’s not supposed to happen.  
The thing was different than anything I’d ever seen before. It was huge and came out of nowhere. It was big, about the size of a hellhound. It had horns that kind of looked like the horns that Maleficent has, from sleeping beauty. (Yes, I have watched sleeping beauty. Don't judge.) It had diamond-shape eyes with slits through them, and sharp, pointed teeth. The minute that Chiron saw the thing, he ran inside the Big House. It takes a lot for Chiron to run scared, so this must be bad.  
“LOCK SHIELDS!” Annabeth shouted. The Athena cabin ran to each other, locked shields, and pressed forward. It was no use. The thing was invincible. Its back was bristling with celestial bronze arrows, making it look like a vicious porcupine. This is wrong. This is so very wrong. It was bad enough that a monster got past our magical defenses, but it should’ve vaporised by now. It should have vaporised a while ago.  
“MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY!” Chiron shouted. Boy was i glad to see him. But he was carrying a weapon i had never seen before. It was like a laser-machine-gun, and it was loaded. The place where the bullets would have gone was glowing bright blue. It was glowing the same blue in the barrel. Chiron held it up to the monster and pulled the trigger. A bright blue light blasted from the strange gun. The monster vaporized instantly. It didn't try to reform, it simply turned to dust. Eventually even that blew away in the wind. We had a moment to breathe before Chiron called for everyone to the amphitheater. And then the red refrigerator fell out of the sky.

Thursday, 11:00 pm, Rachel  
The cave  
I laid in bed, staring up at the cave ceiling. My cave isn't really a cave, its a really big hollowed-out hill. Big sheets in different colors were hung up in various places to form rooms. It was pretty cool in there, very comfortable.  
But the dreams.  
I am the host of the Oracle, so my dreams arent really dreams, there things. Flashes from the past and glimpses from the future. I once saw who Nico marries. A mortal, who can see through the mist. She is mute. Her name is Vanessa and from what I can tell, shes very nice. But occasionally, my mortal conscious gets through and i have a real dream. That’s a bad omen, because it means that the oracle is weak. It means that something big is coming, something we have never dealt with before.  
And believe me, we’ve seen everything.

Friday, 1:00 am, Rachel  
Rachel’s Dream  
Everywhere, there was explosions. I was running, screaming, and my throat and lungs burned from running so far. “COME ON!” A voice shouted. I looked around. “RASIDA!” I turned my head towards the voice. I answered to the name Rasida, even though that isn’t my name. But I knew the voice was talking to me! “Rasida! Rasida we have to go!” I looked around again and i could vaguely see a boy, about my age, calling to me. It was hard to make out his exact features through the fire. “Rasida.” He said. He was no longer shouting, but pleading. We need to go. I dont know where, but it is dangerous here. I started to run again, right up near the boy. I followed him until we made it to a huge spaceship that had an open door. We kept running until we were at the door, and when we went in, it was instantly quiet. The spaceship door closed behind us. There was people all around us, some adults, some young children. Some were just sitting quietly, but most were getting treated for injuries. Blinding light glowed from behind a door marked REGENERATION ROOM. The boy grabbed my hand and we walked to two open seats and sat down. A loud female voice broke the dead silence. “We will be handing out the pocket watches now. In order to use it properly, you click on the top button of the pocket watch and open it. Just stare into it and dont take your eyes away. The data code rewriter will do the rest. In case you didn’t know, The data code rewriter rewrites your genetics. It will make you human.” A few gasps from the passengers. I dont make a sound. Somehow, I already know this. The woman continues. “The first pocket watch here is for...” She takes a pocket watch out of a plastic container. She lifts it up to read the inscription on the other side of it. “Rasida Jibado.” That’s me. I raise my hand, and the woman comes over and hands me the watch.

ffff

“What year is it?” The girl said. She had long, dark brown hair that turned bright red at the end. Dip-Dye, I think its called. Or ombre. Whatever.  
“Erm, 2014.” I say. “Why, what year do you think it is?”  
“It’s complicated. I’m not from around here.” Was the girls confusing reply. But she was right about not being from around here. She had an accent that sounded Scottish or Irish.  
Suddenly, I was somewhere else. I was outside, with the girl. We were standing in front of a big red box, about the size of refrigerator. It looked like a telephone booth. It said PUBLIC CALL PHONE BOX at the top on a lit-up panel. I guess its a public-phone box, whatever that is. It was then that I noticed she was hurt. Maybe ‘hurt’ wasn’t the word. But she was slouching like she couldn’t hold her head up, and she seemed to stumble up a bit. “Wha-what is that?” I asked. “This is my….transport…. ship.” She said. Her ship? What does she mean, ship? It’s so small! And why did she say it like that? “You came here, in that?” “It’s complicated, like I said.”  
“Who are you?” I said. She ignored me.  
“There is unrest in the universe. It starts here. I didn't even think about when I landed but….”  
“You’re not making any sense!” I shout. She continued to ignore me.  
“Something is wrong. Whoever created this place is a genius though. I’ll give you that.” She paused, and looked to the left. She nodded, as if someone was talking to her. “But this place, its a second out of time and space. A second! This place is hidden, but from what? There’s no threats here.” She pulled out a strange metal object with a little purple light on the end. A sonic screwdriver I thought. Why I thought of that, I dont know. I dont even know what a sonic screwdriver is.  
“What are you talking about! What do you mean? Who are you?”  
She looked right at me and her eyes…. her eyes were pure gold.  
“Me? Oh! sorry for not introducing myself. Im-”  
I woke up.

Friday, 10:00 pm, Percy  
The girl in the red refrigerator

It fell out of the sky. Literally fell out of the sky. It spiraled down and landed with a shudder less than a foot in front of me. It would have landed right on top of me if Chiron hadn't grabbed me and pulled me out of the way. We all stood there, eyeing the box. We were all pretty confused, we were battling an impossible monster, and then Chiron blasted it with this, thing. It was like a laser gun or something. And then, the box! What was it? It looked like a telephone booth, kind of like the ones you might see in England, but it looked old. ‘Retro’ could be the word. A panel at the top was lit up, saying PUBLIC CALL PHONE BOX. What does that mean? I snapped out of my thoughts when the door opened and a girl stumbled out. She looked maybe fourteen or fifteen, and she was dressed very strangely. She was wearing dark skinny jeans tucked into combat boots, a maroon V-neck shirt, and a leather jacket. Whoever she was, her clothes were too big. Her jacket sleeves covered her hands, and she tripped over her too-big combat boots when she walked. She took us all in, wearing a mixture of pajamas and battle armor, squinting to read the print on our Camp Half-Blood T-shirts. She fumbled to get something out of her jacket and produced a strange object that look like a flashlight-screwdriver-thing. She pressed a button and the screwdriver flickered on with a purple light and she waved it at us. As she she did, she noticed Chiron and perked up. “CHIRON!” She exclaimed. “SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.” She attempted to hug him and tripped over her own foot. Her screwdriver thing made a ding! noise. She held it up close to her face and frowned. “Chiron,” she said. “what planet is this?”  
And she fell down backwards.

Friday, 10:15 pm, Percy  
Who?  
We all stood there in silence. We were all just trying to absorb and process what had just happened. We saw a box fall out of the sky. A red, refrigerator-sized, box. What the heck is a ‘Phone Box’ doing in the sky anyway? Annabeth took me out of my thoughts when she spoke, “Chiron? Do-do you know her?” She stuttered. We were all in a little bit of shock. We had all seen things, things that could make an average mortal go a bit loony. But this was just strange. Possibly the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.  
“I don't recognize her, she looks different. But yes, I know her. I know that box.” Chiron replied.  
“If you don’t recognize her, how do you know its the right person?”  
“Shouldnt we be getting her to the infirmary?”  
“What about the box?”  
These were just some of the questions that the 150 gathered campers of Camp Half-Blood were asking.  
“QUIET!” Annabeth shouted. “Chiron, take it away. Who is she?”  
“An old friend….. I can't really explain right now. Everyone! Back to your cabins! Except for you, Percy. And Annabeth. All the rest of you, back to your cabins!”  
After everyone left, I picked the girl up and carried her to the Big House with Annabeth and Chiron. “Lay her down. Here.” Chiron said. We laid her down on one of the couches and sat on another. “Okay. This is what-” But he stopped and looked up the stairs to see our camp oracle, Rachel. She had dropped a cup of water and was staring at the girl on the couch in horror. She looked groggy, like she had had a bad night’s sleep.  
“Bad dreams?” I said. She nodded sleepily….

Friday, 10:15, Rachel  
I meet the alien of my dreams  
‘Bad dreams’ doesn't cover it. After my strange dream of the phone box and the strange girl from scotland, I didn't fall asleep. I kept thinking about that screwdriver thing, because I recognize it, from somewhere. But how? I just can't place it. But I nodded like it was nothing. “Chiron….” I said, keeping my eyes on the girl and sitting carefully down on a couch. “Can I talk to you for a minute? In private?” I needed to talk to him about this girl. If I knew she was coming, she was very important. Also, I can sense when I’m having a vision and when I’m having a dream. And I could swear that the girl was in a dream. Not a vision of the future or past.  
“Well, as you can see, Percy, Annabeth and I have our hands full.”  
“Its about a vision I had. I think its important.” Chiron thought for a minute, and then sighed.  
“Annabeth, Percy, wait here. Call for me if she starts to wake up. One moment Rachel. I need to get in my wheelchair.” Chiron carefully got into his wheelchair and his half-horse body shrunk into a pair of regular human legs. He rolled into another room. “Okay, what is it.”  
“Well, last night I had this dream, and the girl was in it.”  
“Did you get a name?” Chiron asked.  
“She was about to tell me what it was, I think, but then I woke up.”  
“Okay. why don't you tell me about the dream? Dont leave out any details.”  
I told him about my dream, how I think the girl was Scottish, and how she seemed fascinated by our camp.  
“She said our camp was a ‘second out of time.’ What does that mean?”  
“Well-”  
“CHIRON!” our conversation was cut off by Annabeth’s panicked shout.

Percy  
I get punched by refrigerator girl  
So the girl woke up. And her immediate when she opened her eyes and saw my face was to shout “NO!” and punch me in the face. From what I saw through my hand that was clutching my face from pain, Annabeth grabbed the girl by her arm and twisted it around so she couldn’t move. Chiron wheeled into the room with Rachel right on his tail (no pun intended). “Stop!” Rachel shouted! “You’re hurting her!”  
“Listen. I’m not going to hurt you. I stumb-stumbled up-upon this p-place. You have to let me go. Please.” Refrigerator Girl barely stuttered out the words. Annabeth let her go and she almost fell again. She stood up straight and brushed herself off. “Hello, I’m Rachel, very nice to meet you all,” She went around and shook everyone’s hands. “No,” Rachel the Oracle said. “I’m Rachel.”  
“And so am I. Deal with it.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Wait, I, I know you….” She pulled out her flashlight thingy and and flicked it on. It made a weird buzzing noise, and she waved it up and down Oracle Rachel’s body.  
“Would you stop scanning me?!” Oracle Rachel said, grabbing the flashlight thing and pushing Other Rachel away.  
“No point in it now. I’ve finished scanning your DNA. I just need to wait for it to be done processing and then get it back to TARDIS.”  
“The what? And what even is that scanny thing anyway?”  
“A sonic screwdriver.” Chiron said.  
“A what?” Oracle Rachel said.  
“Oh, I think you know.” Rachel said, walking towards Oracle Rachel. “I think you know exactly what it is. I think you’ve seen it before but-” The sonic screwdriver made a noise. “To the TARDIS!” She said and then jumped up and ran out of the Big House.  
“So what exactly is a TARDIS?” I asked.  
“Time And Relative Dimensions In Space” She replied. “Now where’s my key…. Aha!” She pulled a key out of her coat pocket. Her inside coat pocket. But didnt girls jackets not have inside pockets? She went to the red phone booth and was about to turn the lock when Annabeth spoke up.  
“Why are you going to that box?”  
“It’s bigger on th-” Oracle Rachel covered her mouth before she could finish her sentence. She slowly moved her hand away from her mouth with a look of horror on her face. “On the-” “Don’t say it!” Was the other Rachel’s reply. “Good. You’re remembering.” Other Rachel said. She tried to sound happy, but she couldn’t meet Rachel’s eyes and looked like she was going to cry any second. “You all, stay out here. And other rachel, please, on all accounts, do not follow me in and remember to close the door tightly behind you.” Of course, Rachel followed her in, saying “Why are you going in…. Oh my gods….”

Rachel  
Think Inside The Box  
Bigger on the inside. That was what I was going to say. The box was bigger on the inside. How I knew that, I had no idea. But it was! This must very advanced magic, maybe she was a minor goddess? But some small part of me whispered what she really was. “Annabeth would love this.” I muttered.  
“What?” Rachel said.  
“Oh, um, Annabeth, the blonde girl with the boy you punched  
“Oh, yeah, sorry ‘bout that!” She said. The girl said it like it was nothing.  
“He’s a lot older than you. He’s extremely strong and has very fast reflexes. How did you hit him? And, how did you hurt him?”  
“I, well- RORY!” Rachel suddenly screamed. It was then that I noticed the boy, about Rachel’s age, lying on the ground. “Oh no oh no oh no….” Her voice trailed off. She held the boys’ hand, and rested her head against his heart. You could tell she cared about him.  
“Are you two…?”  
“What?” She looked up. “Oh, no. Just a friend.” She said ‘’Just a friend’ quietly, and looked down a bit. Maybe she hoped it wouldn’t always be that way.  
“Okay, okay. He’s not dead. But he’s passed out, cold. We need to get him out of here.”  
Rachel and I picked up the boy, whose name must have been rory, and carried him outside.  
“Oh my god! Is he okay!?” Annabeth asked.  
“Yeah, he’s fine. Just unconscious” She said with a smile.  
“How is that something to smile about?” Annabeth exclaimed.  
“I’ll get some Ambrosia.” Percy said.  
“Dont!” Rachel yelled. “He’s not of your kind. You’d hurt him!”  
“Okay. Okay. Just lay him down here. He’ll be okay.”  
“He’s losing oxygen!” Rachel yelled at Percy.  
“Try, um…. Mouth to Mouth resuscitation!”  
“Okay then…. Here goes nothing.” Rachel said.  
And she kissed him. It wasn’t even mouth to mouth, like the lifeguards do. She just kissed. But the thing was, The rory woke up. Just a few seconds after Rachel kissed him, his eyes fluttered open. He sat up sharply, and hit her in the head with his head. “OW!” they both said. Rory fell back again, and then sat up slower. “Hey, hey, its okay. we’re safe, you’ll be okay….”  
“What, what happened? WHO ARE YOU!” Suddenly rory jumped up and pushed Rachel away. He grabbed a branch that had fallen from a tree and was waving it around to keep us away from him. “Rory, it’s me rachel. I regenerated, remember?”  
“But, but, but….” A bright look of realisation crossed his face. He dropped the branch and ran to her and gave her a hug. It was a long hug, like Rory hadn’t seen the girl in a very long time. And although it was quite nice, seeing them reunite like this, we still had no idea who either of them were. 

Percy  
Time For Explanations  
This is ridiculous. I don’t care who you are, you don’t drop down into my camp and expect to not raise suspicion. Who are these people? Why are they here? What did the girl mean, regenerate? The only person who seems to know anything is Chiron, and he’s not saying anything. “Who are you.” I said. It came out like an angry statement instead of a question, but I didnt care. I was angry and confused, which is never good. “I'm Rachel. I'm a Time Lady. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm Six hundred three years old. And I'm here because I was chased by an evil alien species that could threaten all life on earth. And, your Oracle could be someone very, very important to me. Problem?”  
“Jenny.” Chiron said. “I had a feeling you would come back.” 

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

**Author's Note:**

> if this gets 50 kudos i'll write another chapter


End file.
